We tend to think that positive thinking is something we “have to do”, or “should do”, and the moment you feel like it’s something you “should do”, it becomes something you feel bad about if you don’t do.   Whenever you hear someone say “We’re only human”, they are never referring to something good. We are led to believe that being human is bad, that humanity is just a bunch of bad kids running around with no respect and that we all have to control ourselves, heal ourselves, from the “badness”, learn hard painful lessons and suffer so that we can be worthy of enlightenment.  There are so many falsities about being human and most of what we are taught about being human is contradicts itself.  Things like, love heals, but love hurts.  You have to love yourself but accept that painful experiences and suffering are filled with purpose and make you a better, stronger, person.  It just doesn’t add up. Maybe you have found yourself at odds with the logic that pain = love, that suffering = growth.  Or maybe you’re tired of feeling like every thought or feeling you have is bad unless it’s “positive”.  Or perhaps you are exhausted from believing that we must constantly strive to DO, and BE, better than you are in order to be worthy of love, enlightenment, and happiness.  If so, then I offer a different perspective that may fill in the gaps in the logic for you.
When we characterize everything as either “good or bad”, positive or negative, we are in a constantly in the energy of judgment, blame, and defensiveness.  We wage war against anything we deem as “bad” and constantly strive for things that will make us “good” and worthy of other people’s approval.   We can never quite get to that place of having approval or feeling worthy and safe while we are judging ourselves or others.  The standard is always changing depending on who you talk to.  Everyone has their own unique beliefs and standards of those beliefs. It is so exhausting and causes so much unnecessary guilt and shame, to be in constant judgment mode of what is good or bad.
The truth of it is that we are ALL made of God’s love and light, We are ALREADY healed, whole, and complete, we already vibrate at the energy of love and wholeness. It is WHO WE ARE, not a state or a feeling to achieve. There is nothing to heal, nothing to fix, and nothing to suffer through. Anything less than the feeling of love is a negation of that which you are, and that is why it feels painful.  When we internalize someone’s idea, or a system of belief, of what makes us worthy of love, respect, joy, it causes conflict, and the inability to recognize what is truly for our highest good and what isn’t.   By recognizing our innate worthiness and wholeness, we understand negative feelings, emotions, and interactions as an awareness that something just isn’t right, there is awareness of that which is wanted and that which is unwanted, (Abraham Hicks says this often).  There is no guilt or shame for having negative feelings or frustrations, it’s just an observation, a signal.  All pain is, is an awareness, not a judgement.
It’s like your skin sending pain signals when it too close to the fire.  You move your hand, you don’t blame the hand for going near the fire and keep it there so it learns a lesson do you?! That is craziness!  Using the same example, what if you were told that you should keep your hand in the fire and just tell it not to send you any more pain signals.  Wouldn’t you be mad when the flesh on your hand was no more?! Wouldn’t you be angry at the healing process you had to go through?  Would you blame the fact that positive thinking didn’t work? NO! Of course not, that would be even crazier!!
If someone told you to go put your hand in the fire and keep it there because it will make your skin tougher after it heals would you do it? Sure, the skin toughens into a scar. But scar tissue contracts over time, it is less porous, there is no flexibility, it is thicker, and is a distortion of the perfection that was there before. When you decide that suffering is the way to God, or to goodness, or to enlightenment, you create scar tissue.  Maybe you learn not to put your hand in the fire again, but had you listened to your pain signals in the first place and removed the hand you would have learned the same lesson without the healing time and the reduced functionality of the skin and hand.
Stop and listen to your heart, when you come across a conclusion or belief that says you need to keep your hand in the fire to be accepted, to be good, to be like everyone else. Tell the thought/belief or person “NO F’N THANK YOU”.
Every time you start measuring whether or not you are “good” you have gotten away from your true nature. which is LOVE. Love isn’t something you DO, it is something you ARE. And any time you stray from that it feels shitty. Which is why your emotions are SO important. They tell you which thoughts, actions, and beliefs serve your highest good and which don’t. Your truth, THE truth is only ever that which resonates with the truth of who you are, love. And listen because this is important, love feels GOOD, love is not painful, pain is painful, negation of that which you are is painful, anything that makes you feel guilty, unworthy, shameful, IS painful. People who feel bad, people who were taught to judge themselves and others, people who believe in their guilt and shame as who they are and as necessary, those are the people that hurt themselves and others, either by being a victim or being the abuser, they act out and experience what they believe about the world and themselves.
When you take away the judgement, you take away the fear that you are less than and need to do something in order to be worthy. You don’t feel pressure to think positive, and you don’t stay in patterns of pain and suffering to be a “better person” or to grow as a person. Do you learn? Certainly! You learn what is wanted and what isn’t. What resonates with love and what doesn’t. When you learn that then you don’t take negative feelings as personal, you don’t put up with painful experiences as necessary, it’s just an awareness, just something you learn that you don’t want because it feels bad.
Sometimes we stay in these patterns because we are afraid of not being accepted by our families and communities, we are afraid of rejection, and of punishment by others and/or by God. We have assigned human fears and anger to God, and it’s just not true. God is light, and light does not instill fear, pain, or judgment. Beliefs are generally useful because we get to create in the physical world based on them, but any belief that is a detraction, a negation, of your true nature, which is pure love and light, is FALSE.  Love and light is not something to achieve, it is the vibration of who you are, and it is the reason that certain things feel good to you and others don’t  And not everyone will love and feel good believing and doing the same things as you, that’s the fun and the purpose of being physical!  Trying out and playing in this world doing and experiencing different things.  You know what your soul wanted to experience in this life by the way it resonates with joy for you.  The things that are not for you will feel negated or painful to you.  You know what your soul wanted to experience in this life by the way it FEELS to you. Trust that and follow your joy when you feel it! And reject anything that tells you to keep your hand in the fire after you feel the pain of the burn.
You know what your soul wanted to experience in this life by the way it FEELS to you. Trust that and follow your joy when you feel it! And reject anything that tells you to keep your hand in the fire after you feel the pain of the burn.